Maybe you heard of a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to the gymlife. Re-rack your weights, use a towel, use deodorant and don’t be a douche. Because my gym is like my second home and I practically sleep there I’ve come up with a few do’s and don’ts of my own. Let me share them with you.
O, and please don’t be offended by what I say. I don’t mean to be rude. I’m four weeks out from my competition and low on carbs.
Be a creeper
DON’T. O god, please don’t. And this goes out to both men and women. Don’t stare, don’t point, don’t be a creeper. If you are curious about my training, my diet, my muscles (no you can’t touch ‘m) or my goals feel free to come up to me and just ask. I might not always look approachable with my headphones on, but I won’t bite. I promise.
DON’T. Just kidding. Enjoy (how?) your cardio while you at it. But please don’t be a cardio bunny. Pick up a few weights every now and then and make it a hardcore workout. Cardio won’t get you that nicely firmed butt, weightlifting will (yes, she squats). And no, you will not – I repeat not – become the next best female hulk and grow a beard and or become a man for that matter.
DO. Or don’t. Of course you can wear make-up to the gym. But remember it’s not a Saturday night and the only drinks that are served are protein shakes. I actually wear make up to the gym, but hey, I always wear make-up because it looks like I’m sick when I don’t. My point is: keep it classy ladies. This also goes out to your gym outfit and the amount of perfume you are wearing.
DO. O yes, please make a lot of selfies. In the locker room with that great lightening where it looks like you have at least two abs or when you just finished your workout and you have that o-yeah-I-killed-my-workout kinda attitude. But please leave your phone in your locker while working out. I get really annoyed with people who are on their phone during their training while keeping all of the benches occupied and yes, I will definitely ask you to move.
DON’T. And by noise I mean screaming and moaning out loud (very loud) while you are pushing your limits. We know it’s tough and yes you are strong and all, but with the amount of noise you are making you are not helping yourself. And I can’t focus. Control your breathing. I’m sure it will help the both of us.
DON’T. Or at least, no unasked advice. Because I’m sure you know a lot about training but look at me. Does it look like I’m in trouble and not know what I’m doing? I figured. When I need your help, I’ll ask.